Recently, I lost a family member and mourned the loss of his death.

The fact is, death is a part of life. It’s a natural process that we all must experience. It’s not easy and some situations are more difficult than others.

After dealing with the initial shock, I decided to allow myself to feel whatever I needed to in the moment. There were times in the past that I would not want to feel the pain of sadness after the death of someone close so I would keep myself busy.

Since, I have become more aware of my spiritual and emotional inner-being, I didn’t want to suppress my emotions. I believe it’s important to allow yourself to feel. We have emotions for a reason and it’s a natural response to feel.

I’ve learned some healthy ways to deal with my feelings. The more confident I become with knowing who I am, helps me in knowing what I need to move through any circumstance. I always look for the lessons and an opportunity to grow.

While staying present in each moment that came, I found that love and support was all around. I kept myself open to the warmth of people that wanted to offer comfort. I even received comfort from some of his close friends that shared memories of their wonderful time together. I received comfort as they transferred some of the love they had towards me and my family. I had empathy for others as they were grieving a loss with me. I received some relief as we all stood together and cried, laughed, and loved while we said our final farewell to this beautiful and inspirational man who had been in my life since I was born.

Sometimes, I needed to “stop the noise” and be still and alone. It helped me reflect and find gratitude and receive peace knowing that his perfect spirit will never be gone. 

The most challenging moments in our lives presents an opening for our spirit to shine, widen our hearts, and connect with others. When we as individuals experience difficulty, we can form empathy for others. Even through loss and sadness, we can open ourselves for receiving. 

This poem I wrote sums up how I feel and what may help others as they grieve a loss. 

 Love, Light, & Blessings to you!

 ~Janelle

“Bless everyone and everything that represents what you want! Blessing is effective in changing your life or getting what you want for three reasons: First of all, the positive focus of your mind stirs up the positive, creative force of the Power of the Universe. Secondly, it moves your own energy outward, allowing more of the Power to come through you. Thirdly, when you bless for the benefit of others instead of directly for yourself, you tend to bypass any subconscious fears about what you want for yourself, and also the very focus on the blessing acts to increase the same good in your life. What is so beautiful about this process is that the blessing you do for others helps them as well as you.” ~Serge Kahili King

Are you reacting from a place of ego or is it deeper? Is it coming from a thought in your head or something more?

To understand this, first we have to identify what ego is.

Ego:

-I am what I have.

-I am what I do.

-I am what other people think.

-I am separate from you.

-I am what’s missing from my life.

-Doesn’t like to be vulnerable.

-Doesn’t like not having control.

-Likes to be angry.

-Feeds on conflict.

This helps me, identify quickly that I’m reacting from my ego. Most thoughts that stem from ego begin with,“How dare you…speak to me that way or treat me that way. Or “Who do you think you are?” Feeling this way towards another is probably being directed from an angry place and you are offended in some way.

We’ve all been guilty of this. I just didn’t know when to recognize it before. I thought for years that ego was someone who walked around like they were better than you or bragged a lot. This is a form but ego, by definition, is larger than just that. Sometimes it can be more challenging to recognize it but if you have a larger understanding of your true-self then it becomes clearer.

How do we know if we are coming from a place of ego or something deeper? This is how I gauge it:

I really pay attention to my thoughts and emotions. By being in tune to this, I monitor my reactions and delve deeper. Sometimes, I have to step away to have time to not react. If I’m trying to separate myself from that person as if I am better than they are, it’s my ego. If I can look at their actions or words from a place of empathy, I know that it something real. If something really struck me in a painful way, I try to understand this within myself.

Obviously, if they’re triggering me, there’s something I need to address in my subconscious. I turn away from justifying it with thinking, it’s because they did such and such to me. The real work isn’t trying to figure someone else out, it’s knowing who you truly are. Knowing your true-self is knowing that your identity is of your own inner spirit. When I’m able to identify this, I understand the other person or situation more. I then know if this is a person or circumstance that I can walk away from peacefully and sometimes permanently.

Please share, if you have more to add or comment.

Love, Light, & Blessings,

Janelle

It can be easy to feel overwhelmed and is stressful.

It seems that everyone is multi-tasking to keep up with daily responsibilities and expectations. As a mother, I can tend to feel overwhelmed from time to time. I honestly used to feel overwhelmed a lot in previous years but have since worked to keep my stress level at a minimum as a personal decision for my health.

I start out my day with a positive attitude and set my intention for the day along with some helpful things that can support that. 

Here are some things that I do that may help you:

Don’t look too far ahead – if you have a busy week or month ahead of you, by thinking of all the tasks you need to get done as a whole, is a lot to wrap your mind around. The focus needs to be today. What do you need to accomplish today? If there is an appointment that you need to schedule or call about today for a future date, that makes that call part of what you need to get done today.

Prioritize – If it helps you to make a list, by all means use this simple tool. This could also help you identify which tasks need to be done first. As you start scratching off the items you’ve completed, it makes you feel accomplished. This could also help you so that you don’t forget or feel like you forgot something.

Identify Your Goals – What kind of results would you like to have today? If you feel it’s impossible for you to get everything completed today, ask for help. Ask yourself, can it wait until tomorrow? If so, then it goes on the list you make for the next day. If you think, but my to do list tomorrow is large too! That’s tomorrow! Use this process each day that you need it.

Learn To Say No – It is a priority of mine that if I say I’m going to do something, I do it. I want people in my life to know they can count on me. In order to fulfill that goal, I have to be aware of my abilities and when to say no. I would rather say no than disappoint someone who was counting on me. Sometimes circumstances happen that are beyond our control and we aren’t able to keep our obligation. However, if this is not a habit, they are more likely to be understanding.

Follow-Up – This is especially important if you are working with others to accomplish a project. It will give you peace of mind and possibly remind that person. Maybe you need it so you can set reminders for yourself on your computer or phone.

Give Yourself A Break – It can be helpful to step away for five minutes so you can clear your head, take some deep breaths, and get your motivation in order. Also, if you are constantly on the go and beat yourself up if you don’t complete every single task on your list. You are only one person and can only do one thing at a time. Beating yourself up about it, isn’t going to help you be more productive.

Still feeling overwhelmed? Identify your anxiety and worries. What are you afraid of? Where is this coming from? What can you do about it? Notice, I say “you.”

If you drift off to, well if so and so would do their job or help out, etc., you will only cause yourself more anguish because that is beyond your control. You can only control your own abilities, emotions, etc. You are not alone, we’ve all been in the same boat and I am speaking from personal experience. I feel it’s always good to share information that can help us all.

If you have some ideas or tips to add, please share them.

Love, Light, & Blessings,

Janelle